A friend once told me that people come into your life for a reason, a season, or a lifetime. Yet you never know which, if any, it will be. Some people come and go without notice, while others leave footprints on your heart. You meet them, and you will never be the same.
When I first met Jayne I liked her right away, but I had no idea of the impact she would have on my life. She came to me as a client. Her oldest of two boys had just started kindergarten and she wanted to get back in shape. She was never “out” of shape, but she finally had a little more time to devote to her fitness. A few months after the birth of her second child, at 33, she was diagnosed with stage IV breast cancer. Yet somehow, a double mastectomy and several heavy doses of chemotherapy and radiation didn’t slow Jayne down. She was the liveliest, healthiest, most positive energy in the gym. She had a glow about her and just looking into her sparkly blue eyes made me smile. Jayne was radiant. Her smile was gorgeous and always brightened my day. And somehow, throughout our workouts, her lipstick was always perfect. Not because she was high-maintenance, she was the furthest thing from it, but because she always conducted herself like a lady, I suppose. In short, Jayne was beautiful, inside and out.
She started with me once a week and soon she bumped it up to 4 times. She worked out with four other women who soon became a sisterhood; a support team unrivaled. Almost a year after we met, her cancer returned. Disappointed but not discouraged, Jayne took on her re-diagnosis with the fierce determination that she held within. She never missed a workout. She scheduled her chemo around it. She’d drop her boys at school, get her blood drawn, come to workout and go back for her treatment. Her workouts were her sanity she said; a lifeline that buoyed her strength in this battle. Everyday except Tuesday, just before 9, Jayne lit up the gym with her smile. In the five years I knew her, I don’t think I EVER heard her complain. Jayne didn’t look at the clouds, she saw the silver linings.
It wasn’t just her steadfast determination and exceedingly positive attitude that made her special. It was the way she lived her life. She put others first. She didn’t sweat the small stuff. She knew what was important (family) and she lived by it; never getting caught up in what other people were doing. When you talked to Jayne, you knew she heard you, you knew she cared. She never had a foul thing to say about anyone. She lived her life according to her principles and she never waivered. She defied the odds and outlived all of the statistics. For someone who was such a lover, she was the ultimate fighter.
Jayne is a hero in my eyes, and in the eyes of so many who both knew her, and knew of her. She was the epitome of grace: the definition of strength and elegance, a picture in courage.
Today would have been Jayne’s 41st birthday. She passed away in September of 2008, almost 5 years after I met her. I wish I had thought to write this a year ago, because we always talked about what a party we were going to throw for her 40th birthday. Unfortunately Jayne passed away 8 months shy of this landmark. I try to celebrate her every day, but especially today. Jayne was a gift and I treasure my time with her. She is a constant voice in my head and a source of warmth in my heart. When faced with a predicament, I often ask myself what Jayne would do or say. I try to live my life the way she lived hers, and while I am sure I often fall miserably short, she is my compass. I hope she knows how much she meant to me and I like to think her spirit lives on.
I was blessed to have known Jayne. As I reflect, I realize, that while she was only in my life for a season, there was most definitely a reason, and I will carry her with me for a lifetime.
